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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: I Tried Escaping A Bloodhound

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- This smells like a dead fish.

But now it smells like a Christmas tree.

A human nose is easy to confuse.

But a dog nose is a different story.

Police use bloodhounds to search for missing people

and escaped convicts.

Today, I'm going on the run

and trying to lose a blood hound.

Hopefully, this pooch likes the smell of failure.

(intense music)

What is your friends name, and where did it come from?

- This is Ledoux.

He's my partner.

We do search and rescue.

And he's a three year old bloodhound.

- What does a bloodhound do?

- They are bred and trained to track,

and find missing people, bad guys, whatever we ask.

- Good guys, bad guys?

Good girls, bad girls, nasty girls?

- Yeah.

- Weird guys, clowns, doctors?

- Not clowns so much.

They're a little afraid of clowns.

- Is there a difference between a trailing dog

and a tracking dog?

- Yes, tracking is typically law enforcement trained dogs.

And they go footprint to footprint.

Where a trailing dog is looking for scent.

And it could be off in the bushes,

so they're not exactly on your footprint.

And they'll do s-patterns, and they'll just keep searching

for where it is, and where it's not.

- If the dog finds a trail, how do you read

his body language?

Does he start to do the boogie-woogie?

- If somebody went through that door, he'll sniff,

turn around, sit, and look at me.

And I'll know, oK, lets go try that.

- What makes a bloodhound's nose stronger, than say,

a pug's nose?

- Well, it's all about the olfactory capacity.

And their nose, as you can see, is huge.

- I have a question for Ledoux.

Is it okay if I ask him?

- Sure.

- Do you think you're better than me?

(panting)

Now, I'm going to challenge you.

- Oh.

- I guarantee I can escape your bloodhound.

- I don't think you can.

- If your bloodhound finds me, I must eat dog food.

- Well, I hope you get a taste for it

because you're going to be eating a lot of it.

- You're going to make me eat a whole lot of the dog food?

- Yes.

- You can join me.

- Actually, it would be a victory.

I wouldn't mind joining you at all.

- Great.

If I successfully escape your bloodhound,

your dog must watch me dance.

It's going to be a trash talking dance.

- That's gonna be very sad.

- How confident are you that I will lose?

- Pretty darn confident.

- What is the qualitative amount for "pretty darn"?

- I'm hugely confident that my dog is going to find you.

- Ledoux, you're going down.

What the bloodhound didn't know was that I spent

the last month planning the perfect escape.

I did lots of research and discovered that dog's can smell

peoples' body odors and dead skin cells.

This means I have to alter the way my own body functions,

and I have to get gross.

A bloodhound has well over 200 million olfactory cells,

or scent receptors, in it's nose.

People only have about six million scent receptors.

So, this dog is about 40 times better than me at sniffing.

I don't care though, I have a bigger brain.

Bloodhound owner, Lori, wanted me to have a thirty minute

headstart so my scent had time to linger.

We agreed I wouldn't go farther than half a mile

from the starting point.

Once I reached my destination,

I would wait for the bloodhound.

- [Referee] The challenge begins in three, two, one.

- [Mike] As the timer begins, I start walking

with a beach chair.

You may ask, "What's that chair for Mike?"

I'll get to it later,

And please stop slowing me down with your silly questions.

I walk down the street at normal speed

and head around the corner.

Waiting one block away are three of my accomplices.

- Who the (bleep) are these three people I hired

to help outsmart a dog?

The first accomplice is my friend, Honora,

who once told me I look like her ex-boyfriend.

- I really love dogs.

I am a dog-owner.

- The second accomplice is my friend, Wil,

who reminds me of my brother.

- When Mike told me his strategy, I thought... intricate.

- The final accomplice is my good friend, Kaitlyn,

whom I've only hung out with twice.

As I greet my accomplices, they begin preparing

supplies I gave them two days ago.

Here's the first problem I have to solve,

my body will be dropping dead skin cells

throughout the whole chase,

and the bloodhound will easily smell them.

- I do what everyone does

when they don't want to be smelled, take my clothes off

and cover myself in vasoline.

Vasoline stops a lot of skin cells from falling off my body,

and makes me look like a walking buger.

Thank you.

Wil hands me some of his clothes he doesn't wear much.

I put them on to confuse the dog's nose even more.

Kaitlyn hands me boot scent pads,

which I slip onto the bottom of my shoes.

Next, she hands me my secret weapon,

a bottle of skunk odor.

Who in their right mind would buy skunk odor on purpose?

Hunters buy skunk odor to mask their scent from animals.

Also, weird people buy it because they are weird people.

I pour the skunk odor onto my shoes' scent pads.

The smell is so disgusting that Kaitlyn nearly vomits.

(gagging)

- [Honora] Whoa.

- Dang.

- If he had to I think he would have drank it.

- Honora brings out my unwashed laundry

that I gave her two days ago.

These clothes have my recently deceased skin cells

already on them.

Honora sprays my cologne on the laundry

to make it smell freshly worn.

My accomplices separate the laundry into three piles

and duct tape those piles onto three radio controlled cars.

These little dump trucks will keep my laundry

close to the ground during the entire getaway.

That means my body odors will be within a dog's reach.

Kaitlyn hands me the last item I need for the road,

a container of coyote urine.

The accomplices drive the radio controlled cars

with my laundry out of the area.

Each person has their own distinct path to follow,

which I provided them with the day before.

My accomplices and I all head to our designated end points.

My thirty minute headstart is over.

The bloodhound now has thirty minutes to hunt me down.

- Are you ready?

Are you up for this?

Are we gonna find him?

- [Mike] Before the challenge,

Lori requested I put some of my recently worn clothes

in a plastic bag to share with the bloodhound.

- Looks good in the- phew, yes it is stinky.

- [Mike] The dog sniffs my clothes, thoroughly,

and begins his search.

(intense music)

- Head popped to the right.

Good boy.

Well he wants to cross the street, so, let's go with it.

Ledoux has come up against a few intersections.

So, I'm taking the time to work all directions,

see what he would naturally tell me,

and then keep going, or check other directions out.

(intense music)

- It's pretty sad that Mike would do anything

not to accept defeat.

How far can one man go, not to just lose, or prove

that he doesn't always have to be right?

I personally know I wouldn't go that far.

- My journey really started out great,

of having a lot of fun with my remote control car.

I felt like I ended up being a really good driver.

- I just followed my maps on my phone, and walked through

this really beautiful neighborhood.

The houses were gorgeous.

- No, leave it.

Back.

There it is.

Did Mike throw out chicken bones to throw my dog off?

(laughs) It didn't work.

(intense music)

- [Mike] During my getaway I squirt coyote urine

on my shoes' scent pads.

In the rare event Ledeoux loves skunk odors,

and decides to chase a skunk,

coyote urine would be my knight in shining armor.

- So our truck is having car troubles.

Pick it up.

Gonna walk it.

It's still got the smell on it,

so, hopefully it helps Mike out in his escape.

(intense music)

- I stumble upon several overflowing trash bins,

and realize they could be useful.

I circle them once, pressing my feet against them

to leave my scent everywhere.

My goal is to make the bloodhound think a skunk

was eating trash for breakfast

and then was peed on by a coyote.

- Nicely done, Ledoux.

Nicely done.

Where is he?

And we have to check all of it.

Maybe stop to go to the bathroom.

Is that where he was Ledoux?

- They check.

You'd be surprised.

- That was interesting.

There's something here.

- Mike's smell is getting trapped in the alcove here.

So, if you feel the air coming down,

swirling and it's collecting inside the stairway here,

where it's nice and cool and dark.

- I don't know what's going on here.

But what we normally do is go back out

to where we know he was strong on scent.

We'd need to go make sure we have the correct

direction of travel.

(Ledoux yawns)

- [Lori] Okay, yeah, you're stressing.

But when he yawns, that's a stress yawn.

That means he's lost it

and we have to go, we figure it out.

I have to put him back where I think there was scent.

- All my accomplices reach their final destinations,

half a mile from the starting point.

(intense music)

I reach my final destination

half a mile from the starting point,

sit on my beach chair, and chillax.

I take a deep breath and let my mind wander.

I think about what life must be like for a dog.

It must be so strange to have other species constantly

patting your head and rubbing your belly.

- On a real search, we would have law enforcement support,

and they can stop traffic, and let the dogs work freely.

But in this challenge, we don't have that luxury.

- [Mike] I think about what it would be like to have

a wet nose all the time.

To have hair covering my body head to toe,

and never have control over when it gets cut.

I could never be a dog.

Both, because I like having control over when my hair

gets cut, and because it's scientifically impossible

to transform into a different species.

(intense music)

Will the bloodhound find me?

Will he find Honora?

Will he find Wil?

Will he find Kaitlyn?

Will he find a real skunk?

Will he find true love?

I really hope this dog has an account on OK-9 Cupid.

(rousing music)

- [Referee] Time is up.

- To my surprise, the bloodhound wasn't fooled

by any of my stinky tricks.

To my delight, the bloodhound lost my trail,

and lost the challenge.

Here's where I was hiding.

Here's where the bloodhound ended up.

So how was Ledeeux able to get close to me?

- He doesn't follow the bottom of your shoes.

It's all the skin rafts that are coming off you.

And you're not covered enough and you're still breathing.

So, there is still your scent coming out.

- Now I'm going to dance, and trash talk your dog.

- That's okay.

Alright, Ledoux, I'm smarter than you.

I'm smarter than you Ledoux.

I'm hard to find.

I'm a man who is hard to find.

You're a dog, you can't read books.

(scatting)

You can't find me.

I'm hard to find, I'm hard to find.

Ledoux, Ledoux.

I'm hard to find, I'm hard to find.

Ledoux, Ledoux.

You can't find me but I can find you.

- To celebrate I am going to my grandma's

88th birthday party.

It's a country-western themed.

- [Mike] What else can you use a bloodhound for,

besides finding missing people?

Are they good at smelling farts?

- Yes, and mine are quite active with my husband around.

Woo, it's intense.

It keeps the dogs happy, though, I'll tell you what.

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