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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Pronunciation Pro Mindset Training

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all right so pro mindset what do I mean

by pro mindset well we're definitely

going to get into that and I'll explain

what that means

but first and I know that many of you

are very familiar with me you've been

coming to the study groups you've been

coming to our probe book club meetings

but some of you may be new to

pronunciation Pro and don't fully know

kind of what our situation is here and

who I am and things but this is me this

is my husband Dan we have four little

boys and we have a fifth baby coming at

the end of November which Natalie you

asked about my cold whenever I am

pregnant I have a little bit of a little

bit of a cold I guess but what we have

so this is my my little family you call

big family I am from a family of nine

kids and so to me this feels pretty

manageable but I want to tell you a

little bit of a backstory and get a

little personal here in our journey and

my husband Dan we've been married for 15

years we just celebrated our 15th

wedding anniversary this summer and

what's been interesting about our

journey is that Dan has really struggled

with mental health over his lifetime and

especially in his adult life and he

struggles with he's had a long time

history of a DD but then that has kind

of led into things like depression and

anxiety and addiction and things a lot

of mental health challenges over the

years and over the years as we've been

trying to deal with this and know what

word we're struggling with and we have

not reached out and found as many

resources as we probably should have if

I were to tell my past self what to do

I'd say go get some therapy go get some

tray

early on but in the last two years two

years ago it kind of hit a very critical

moment where Dan was really struggling

and we were really trying to find some

answers and we decided to go and find

some more help for him and so that led

us down this journey of really getting a

strong testimony as strong just

experienced with the power of therapy

and a power of mindset training and

understanding how our brains work and

it's been an amazing journey and

something that was really really hard

and has been really hard for so many

years just trying to battle and these

challenges with mental health and

mindset but as we've discovered these

certain tools and it has opened up this

whole world to us that I am so excited

about and it's made such a difference

for us in our lives

damn in his mental health he's he is not

only survived you know he was we were

kind of in survival mode for him for a

long time but he is certainly thriving

now and it's you know it's a progression

it's a slow progression but um I'm so so

proud of him very much a brilliant man

but with these mental health challenges

he was really struggling to tap that

potential that he has and and that I

could see in him I've known for years

just what he can be and what his

potential is but he was limited you know

these barriers these mental barriers

that he had really limited him in his

growth and progression and so it's been

really interesting to see him kind of

break through those barriers now it

hasn't just been him now I've been very

interested in self help and you know

professional development and all of

those things and my whole life and as

we've gotten into these mindset

trainings and these understanding the

brain it's been very interesting because

I've recognized I I think I took for

granted my upbringing

in having exposure to some of these

growth mindset principles that I can

learn anything that I set my mind to

that I can dream big that I can be you

know here let me let me just open up the

chat box here um I want to open these up

so that I can see who's here and what

what's written in the chat chat while

we're going anyway I absolutely um

recognize that wow I was raised with

such an abundant mindset that there's

more than enough for everyone and if I

set my mind to something I can achieve

it and things like that and I recognize

as I've been married to my husband and

some of the challenges and fixed

mindsets that he's had that that's not

that's not the norm

and as I've gotten into this mindset

training I've even realized my own

barriers and in my own life and in my

own brain that even though I was you

know I've been able to function at a

higher level you know higher level and

you know build a business and have kids

and and feel like life was going just

fine I recognized that there was so much

room for me to grow as I understood my

own brain okay so I'm so excited not

only for what Dan has been able to learn

through this but what it means for

anyone who's struggling with mental

health or anyone who just wants to

achieve bigger higher goals for

themselves in life and what I see in our

pronunciation pro students is that

through you know through our your the

people that the students that come to me

and are wanting help are those

high achieving individuals who are

looking for you know to really achieve

those big dreams and to work hard and to

grow and develop in big ways and what's

exciting is that these mindsets and this

way to kind of tap into our brain and

our higher self is really the key to

being able to achieve those higher goals

so I'm really excited that we get to you

know go through this together and then I

can kind of talk to you about what's

happening now coaching and mentoring you

know finding mentors and coaches has

been critical through this like I said

we tried to kind of do it on our own for

a good 13 years and then once we kind of

tapped into this network of therapists

and coaches and mentors I guess like I

cannot say enough about the importance

of having someone outside of ourselves

and outside of our spouse being able to

give us with help us with wisdom and and

guidance and that's why I'm so excited

that you're here and that you're

trusting me in that coaching process

because um I feel like the that that

ability to get coaching and the openness

and vulnerability of getting coaching is

what's going to take you to these higher

levels all right

me personally I have you know I have

personal coaches that that coach me

every week and I have business coaches a

business coach that coaches me every

week and so I've really tapped into this

and I've I've dove full in saying I want

out I want people to kind of show me my

own brain show me my own limitations so

that I can I can do more with my life

and I think that that's so valuable for

everyone um so I'm so glad you're here

and doing this with me alright and as I

have gone into this world of mindset

training and I

discovered this for myself and

recognized all that can be accomplished

in my own life as I understand how to

how to shift my own mindset of course I

thought of all of you and I thought of

your situation and I thought about every

time I get a survey in with a new

student or emails every single time

there's talk of confidence that we're

struggling with confidence we want more

confidence and that there is pain and

discomfort because of these situations

where we don't feel confident and we

feel very unsure of ourselves and we

want to feel more confidence and so as I

as I go into I as I've been learning

these things my thoughts have been with

you of how can we bring how can I bring

this this understanding and these

mindsets to you and that's really what

we're doing here so I'm very excited

about it so let's really jump into what

pro mindset means and this is going to

be an introductory kind of thing we're

gonna kind of jump into some some

practices that I recommend but we'll

definitely be implementing more of this

into the pronunciation Pro site with

these monthly trainings and then I've

got a lot of I've got a lot of ideas

here so talk about you know dreaming big

I've got some great ideas for what what

we have in store for all of you so I'm

really excited about this okay so in

pronunciation Pro there has been kind of

this twofold mission be understood and

be confident okay so as we talk as we go

through the pronunciation Pro course

that be understood is very much a focus

of we're learning the sounds of English

we're learning the rhythm of English

we're learning all these skill sets that

help us be a better communicator and be

more clear in our pronunciation and

fluency in English this is a skill that

needs to be developed and

it is absolutely critical and in that

development of confidence now the

confidence piece what I've kind of seen

over over the years is as people train

and do you know do the hard work of

getting you know really fine-tuning

their accent and really improving and

growing in their accent and then

confidence tends to come but I've found

that sometimes that's not always the

case that there are more mental barriers

that are keeping our students from

feeling fully confident in the in the

way they speak even though they sound

amazing okay um so it's interesting

because I've been able to see this and

say okay

what's the disconnect here and how can

we bring more confidence and help them

be more confident and that's where the

pro mindset comes in as I feel like it's

this missing puzzle piece and to the

equation that it's like okay we have to

work on those skills of being better

understood but we also have to work on

our mindset and how we're thinking about

ourselves and thinking about others and

and how we go about doing hard things

and what does that mean for us okay so

we're gonna be diving into all of that

and but first let me introduce a concept

here and this may be new to you it may

be something that you've already heard

before and so stay with me because I

think that even if you've heard this

before there is power and kind of

broadening your perspective of it

because I feel like I was I was raised

in a way and I've kind of had this

growth mindset over the years that helps

me understood the difference between my

internal world in my external world but

as I dove into it I recognized oh I'm

still blurring the lines and I'm still

there's still areas of my life that I

feel like there's a cross over so let me

explain what I'm talking

so I want I want you to get clear on our

internal world and our external world

okay so internal worlds is our thoughts

and feelings okay

our thoughts and feelings are kind of

the internal world our external worlds

are the circumstances around us okay so

the circumstances around us our external

our thoughts and feelings about it our

internal now if now let me give you some

examples of kind of connections that we

tend to make we tend to think that you

know in the world that we have and let

me just kind of look at my notes here

for a second so in our in our world

we're kind of conditioned with this

mindset that that our external

environment dictates how we feel okay

our external environment dictates the

way we feel so we always say well if I

want a million dollars then I'd feel

peace I'd feel financial peace I'd feel

happy I feel confident I'd feel great

okay so we kind of have this feeling of

like oh if I only had money then I would

feel good about life or I'd feel good

about myself if I could just lose weight

then I'd feel happy then I feel you know

more joyful I'd enjoy my body more and

you know that's that's how I'm gonna

feel better is I have to control this

external my external world okay a lot of

things that I a lot of here at times I

hear for my students if I can just sound

a hundred percent native then I'm gonna

feel confident okay so what we're doing

is we're connecting this external or

external world to our internal world and

saying that if this happens out here

then this is what's going to happen in

here the only problem with that is do

you know well

the people who are not at peace or happy

do you know people who are skinny or fit

and healthy who are not happy

and do you know native speakers or

people who sounds native who are not

very confident okay so I want you to

think about that for a second because if

we have examples of people who fit these

external situations and don't have these

feelings then we can pretty much assume

that you know we can assume that like

well there must not be a direct

correlation there there must not be it

must not be a plus B equals C in this

situation so well what is it you know

but we've been kind of conditioned that

well I just have to change this and this

will happen here's kind of the danger

that happens okay I don't like my job

I'm very unhappy with my job okay all I

have to do it's changed my book job and

then I'm gonna be happy okay I think

that sometimes is a chow you know a

challenge for us where we feel like it's

the jobs it's the job that's not making

me happy and when one of my coaches said

that it's not your jobs job to make you

happy it's your job to make you happy

and what kind of talk about that but I

thought it was interesting it's not your

jobs job to make you happy that's up to

you and one thing that I talked to my

kids about is when they go to events and

they say it wasn't fun I'm like well it

wasn't their job to make it fun it's

your job to make it fun um so anyway

another situation kind of dangerous

situation we get into is well I'm not

satisfied with my marriage

so I need to get a new spouse or I need

to change that external situation or I

need to change my spouse my spouse needs

to do something different and then I'm

going to be happy okay

so we keep trying to kind of change

these external things to try and help us

feel better because we're very very

motivated that's what motivates our

actions is our feelings right we're very

motivated to find peace and happiness

isn't that what all of us want we want

to kind of feel that those good fuzzy

feelings in life we want to feel

confident we want to feel happy okay but

what I want to emphasize here is that

the situation the external situation is

neutral okay what's making that a good

or a bad situation is our thoughts about

it which cause our feelings about it

okay so you can kind of think it's hard

it's hard to kind of seeing ourselves at

first but if you look at external

situations let's talk about some

examples so um let's say you know with

money

okay money some people can think of

money as a really positive thing and

some people think of it as a negative

thing like only greedy people have money

or I want all the money okay

if I had money I'd be happy or some

people's view of money is I don't really

necessarily want or need more money

because it just make me greedy or

selfish or something like that okay

money is totally neutral it's our

thoughts and our feelings about it that

create those or thoughts about it that

create the feelings attached to it our

bodies totally neuter neutral I have a

body you have a body our thoughts about

what our body should be or what we like

or dislike about that our bodies

are what makes it the feelings negative

or positive okay are you with me here

and if you have any I'm watching the cut

of the chat box so if you have any kind

of comments or thoughts about this

definitely chime in because I'd love to

you know hear here kind of if you're how

you're responding to some of this if

it's like no this is crazy talk any or

or if you're kind of with me on this

okay

our spouse same situation our spouse and

what he or she does is pretty neutral

okay our spouse is pretty neutral what

they do we and this is where it gets it

gets it got challenging for me

especially I'm not I'm gonna be honest

we have had a struggle through our you

know marriage with the you know the

challenges of mental health and and

raising four kids and it's just a

challenge there are lots of challenges I

I know I love my husband dearly and I

know I always felt that you know we just

got to keep working at it and we'll get

this figure it out but there were so

many challenges along the way and I kept

thinking well if he would change if he

would just do this if he would just you

know figure out how to get things done

then I'd feel better I'd feel safer I'd

fill it more peace and I just kept

trying to change what was happening with

him the more I backed off and just said

this is this is who he is and I'm gonna

love him for who he is and I changed

those thoughts about it my feelings then

followed and I could just have more love

and compassion for him okay

don't think that this is just going to

stick the first time if this is a new

concept for you because it's taken years

here to figure this out

Bay but let's now that now apply it to

what we're working on here okay

set okay so this is really something

that's very interesting your accent is

pretty neutral okay

a lot of you have either positive or

negative or somewhere in between

thoughts about your accent and what it

means and what we've kind of made it

mean in our heads and the story that

we've built in our heads and the

feelings then that come from that can

either be positive or negative okay

so I want you to kind of think about

this and we're gonna dive into this very

you know deeper here today and help you

understand but I want you to kind of

disconnect a few things for me and just

even try this on okay confidence is not

something that comes from external

situations okay

confidence comes from us inside okay

confidence comes through our thoughts

there are our beliefs and definitely the

like learning new skills and developing

new skills and things like that helped

us feel more confident it's because of

the thoughts that we have about that

that we were like ooh that felt good to

do that and to do that well I feel

confident about that okay

but it's our thoughts about it that have

really shifted okay um if that were not

true

anytime someone failed they would it

would be a situation where they didn't

feel confident but I know plenty of

people who have shifted their thoughts

about failure and I'm I am this is

something I'm very much working on and

something that I've I've done well with

I feel like is that is that those the

thoughts of failure of like ooh I messed

up on that one

that's gonna be a learning experience

for me you know changing the thought so

that it's like I feel more confident to

try it again

because I learned so much from that

failure quote-unquote failure okay

I like Sophia says confidence is not a

personality trait it's a skill that can

be developed confidence is learn about

exactly I love it it's a skill that's

developed it's a practice that's

developed Thank You Sophia

okay so confidence is not something

that's gonna come from others from

outside of ourselves it's not gonna come

just from validation from others here's

the danger that comes here if we wait

for others to say oh you sound amazing

or you you know you sound like a native

speaker or you are so wonderful or

you're so beautiful or you're so

talented if we wait for our confidence

to come from validation from others then

we're gonna be tossed around all over

the place

depending on what others say or their

opinions about us what has to happen is

it has to come from within okay so that

no matter what is happening externally

we know who we are and we know where our

confidence comes from

okay I'm gonna kind of give examples of

this for my YouTube videos but this is a

journey that I've been on to make sure

that that confidence is coming from

within so Romeo says that I discovered

that confidence is a byproduct of

education okay so he I and I want to

challenge that that the education has

been wonderful and is exposed to you to

all these things which has helped change

your thoughts about yourself and about

your world around you that's why it's so

exciting education and learning more and

and discovering more definitely brings

that confidence because it's shifting

the way that you think about the world

and I love that that's awesome

okay so it cannot come from validation

from others we have to get rid of that

and that as easier said than done that

is a process okay so let me kind of

introduce you to a model that

going to use today and so we have we

have our situations like we've talked

about our Neutral okay then we have our

thoughts about the situation that then

produce the feelings that we feel about

the situation those feelings and we are

all driven to act based on how we're

feeling okay

so those feelings were really driven by

our feelings those actions then lead to

our results what we do every day lead to

our results now in the past I've had

this very much as action driven and

results driven mentality where it's like

oh just focus on the actions I just have

to get up early in the morning I have to

do all these things but over the years

as life gets more challenging and those

thoughts and emotions got more got

bigger and stronger for me and

especially within our marriage and our

relationship it became so much harder to

take action because of the feelings that

I was having hey it took it was so much

harder to take action on things that I

knew I wanted to do I just couldn't get

myself to do it okay and that is the

that's the real struggle for I think a

lot of us is we know what we want to do

we just can't get motivated to do what

we want to do what we know is best for

us I think it's a very common problem

for all of us so we have to we have to

backtrack and say okay well we need to

not just look at the actions that we're

taking we kind of look at our feelings

and we have to look at our thoughts okay

so I've got introduced to the feelings

wheel you know over the last couple of

years I think it's fascinating because

we simplify things too like I'm mad or

I'm sad or I'm scared or I feel happy

you know things like that but if you

really look at it there's

spectrum of emotions that we can feel

and the more we understand their

emotions the more that we can understand

our brain and kind of what it's reacting

to so know if you you're interested in

this go ahead and and look at the

feelings wheel or Google feelings wheel

and you'll be able to see this so let's

apply this okay so here's where the

practice comes in and it's interesting

because I've read a lot of books in the

you know in my life and a lot of us I

love the self-help books I love learning

more about how to kind of have 6x

success books and all of that but um

what I love about what we've been doing

recently is just the practice that has

come along with understanding kind of

them on this model of how to think

because it's one thing to be like oh

yeah our thoughts creator our feelings

but when you practice it daily and you

say what thoughts am I having today or

what feelings am I having today and then

kind of track the thoughts that are

there coming from it or how that makes

me feel then it becomes a way of saying

okay this is what's happening but it

might not be what I want to happen okay

I kind of want it to be different and I

want my results to be different so how

can I have more control over what's

happening in my brain so let's take a

situation that I know is very common for

many of you because I hear it all the

time from our students you get the

question someone asks you where are you

from

okay and for a lot of our students this

may be for the case for you it may not

be and let me know in kind of the chat

box if this is something that you can

relate to but for a lot of our students

this is a very emotionally triggering

question okay where are you from

especially those who live in the US okay

and this may not apply to everyone but

here's what happens you're in a

situation you're kind of talking to

native English speakers and then someone

asks what hey where are you from

and here are the thoughts that tend to

happen in some of our students heads and

some of you might be like well what

especially if you don't live in the u.s.

and this hasn't been you know a

challenge for you but some of the

thoughts that I have seen you know from

some of my students are recognizing um

romeo like that you you know you said

where you're from but then you said i

hid this answer for a long time okay so

i we're gonna address kind of that the

thoughts that might be causing that that

feeling of wanting to or that action of

wanting to hide where you're from okay

so some of the thoughts that can come

from this and we call these like

unintentional thoughts these are just

kind of thoughts that come that we don't

even realize are coming into our head

you might think oh they don't like my

accent

or they're judging me okay i don't

belong here that's a that's a big one

oh i've been i've been found out um i'll

never be accepted you know i don't i

don't belong in this group they're two

they're kind of wondering where i'm from

and kind of saying you're an outsider

okay it gives you more evidence that

you're an outsider okay and you know you

really don't want them to ask that

question let's get it gets annoying

right it's for some of you and so some

of the this is for some of you this is a

very common experience that you're

feeling these thought you're you have

these thoughts because of these thoughts

that are happening so like the situation

where are you from very neutral but our

thoughts about it make it a very

negative experience okay makes you feel

insecure no confidence your may be

intimidated by it

you might feel rejected or anxious or

embarrassed

or frustrated um so these are some of

the feelings that may come up because of

these thoughts that our actions well

what happens when we feel this way well

we stop speaking up you know you're kind

of embarrassing you're like oh well

maybe they you know don't like my accent

or there's too much focus of it I'm a

little embarrassed by that you withdraw

okay you don't share more of yourself to

others what the results then becomes you

kind of diminish yourself you don't show

up as yourself okay you don't show up as

yourself and so therefore you're kind of

diminishing your voice and and keeping

keeping yourself small you don't go

after your dreams or your goals and you

come you have this limited network or

connection in connection with people

because of these this thought pattern

that's happening you have no idea what

people are thinking you're just you're

just guessing you're guessing what

others are thinking and feeling about

you and this is the story that you've

come up with in your head and maybe you

have evidence that people have kind of

told you here and there but but a lot of

times we're generalizing okay and you're

choosing to believe how others are

seeing you or you're you're choosing

certain thoughts about yourself as well

okay so let's bring that around and do

what we call an intentional model okay

and I want to see I want you to see the

contrast here you have a situation where

are you from okay and I want to kind of

share with you in you know in American

culture and in American culture this is

a very common question for everyone to

ask and the motivation for me is very

different than what we just

we just talked about with the thoughts

so here are some alternative thoughts

and actually it's kind of when I ask

somebody if you know I don't tend to ask

people who have accents where they're

from because I I've worked with so many

of you I know it can be kind of

triggering but um but here is when I ask

someone where they're from and I ask a

lot of like that's it's a very common

question in getting to know people okay

we're working asking where someone's

from is a way to make a connection with

that person oh you're from you know

you're from Australia awesome

I've always wanted to go there okay

you're from yeah you're from Brazil how

cool I don't know much about Brazil or I

just visited Brazil this this last week

or this last month or last summer here's

a way for us to connect okay so your

thoughts could be they want to connect

with me they're interested in getting to

know me

okay so just contrasts these thoughts

with what we had kind of talked about

before they like my accent I think it's

interesting it's probably you know

something that they don't come across

every day and it's kind of fun for them

to get something different they like me

let's try let's try on those thoughts

it's fun to get to know new people this

is a great way to practice English okay

so you're talking to people this is a

great way to practice English all right

the feelings that come from that

confidence right I'm going to feel

confident I'm gonna feel accepted I'm

gonna feel valuable I'm gonna feel

relaxed in this situation I'm gonna feel

secure I feel powerful and I'm gonna

feel connected like these people want to

connect with me I want to connect with

them okay let's get a result from that

we're going to speak up

you're gonna be yourself more you're

going to engage you're gonna make maybe

ask about them because you're like ooh

they're trying to connect with me I want

to connect with them what can I ask them

that will help me get to know them

better you'll practice your English we

all know that it just takes practice it

takes conversation ok what's the result

we improve our English the more practice

we get the more we improve we have new

friends

we have stronger connections and

relationships ok same situation totally

different thoughts feelings actions and

results that can come from it um and so

I want you to just kind of see the

difference there the situation didn't

change at all but it's just those

thoughts about the situation that

changed everything for them

and I hope this kind of illustrates just

how powerful our mindset can be our

thoughts can be ok so as we go through

right now I'm really just asking me to

kind of identify that and just recognize

ok there's a space between something

happening someone's saying something so

I'm making a comment about my accent or

making a comment about me or making a

comment about anything or just giving me

a face or you know whatever it is but

there's a space between something that

happens and our thoughts about it and

our feelings about it ok

and we don't have to change the external

to be able to come to these good strong

positive feelings that will help us show

up as our best self we just have to work

on the thought process and be aware of

and right now it's the first stage is

just awareness let's be aware of what

our thoughts are so that we can really

kind of dissect that

okay let me give you an example of

something over the years so YouTube has

been many of you probably found me on

YouTube it's it's a situation where for

eight nine years I've been putting up

videos on YouTube and I tell you what

the first time I put a video up on

YouTube I was terrified you know how are

people are going to see me like am I

gonna do it wrong

so many thoughts going on in my head and

not a ton of confidence in that but I

knew that I have something to share I

knew that I have something important to

share and I wanted to get my message out

there okay and I knew I wanted to create

something in my life and I have these

big dreams I have these big goals of

what I could create as I put videos on

YouTube and I created this business and

created this program okay YouTube is not

for the sensitive okay putting yourself

out there are you do is not for those

who have who are highly affected by

others comments in the validation of

others are I thankfully even have had a

group a very strong positive experience

with the community in YouTube there's

been a lot of positive and a lot of

wonderful that has come from the YouTube

community and subscribers and comments

and things like that and so I am very

very grateful but over those first few

years I had to develop a very strong

internal belief system of Who I am and

what I'm doing because of some of the

negative comments or some of the

negative or some of just the critical

and comments that would come through now

I can kind of read those comments and

kind of you know laugh about some of

them or read the comments and be like

you know that's that says more about

them than it does me and I'm ok with

that I'm gonna let them be them ok or

you know what that's actually a good

point I should do that better you know

there is quite a bit of it that you know

I can improve I can definitely get

better and and I'm gonna take that

feedback and I'm going to use that

feedback to fuel improvement ok so it's

been an interesting process to say okay

I'm gonna bring that confidence internal

and I'm going to practice that

confidence that comes from that internal

self and not rely so heavily so much on

the validation of the external ok so how

does this apply to you well let's

practice it so um and I you know I kind

of said this was gonna be an hour we'll

probably go for another half an hour if

if that's okay with you I recognize if

you need to leave then hopefully we're

you were able to kind of get a lot from

this but I do want to get some of your

personal experiences and see how we can

apply this model to all of you okay so

we're gonna kind of go through this

model and kind of identify the

situations and the thoughts and kind of

start pulling that apart for you okay so

let me go ahead and look here do I have

some I have some um some people kind of

with their hands raised I would love to

kind of do some coaching or do some kind

of some training with some of you and

hear about your situations and hear kind

about you know the saucers or situations

and my might or the problems that might

be happening for you and that maybe we

can kind of work through here okay so

David let's go ahead and talk with you

I'm going to oh sorry I just

accidentally there we go hi David hi

Annie how are you I'm great you good

okay so tell me kind of what your

thoughts have been through this and if

you kind of you know what how's this

have been settling for you yeah what if

said is really true about me because

when I'm talking to someone I just I

just took you know because my thought is

well it's like if I had any English in

my mind is different from the English I

speak so what am i speaking things don't

work as I was thinking you know I'm not

speaking as I was expected to write so

words disappear from a mind and they

just think that the other person can't

understand me I'm you know I just stuck

yeah nervous and the problem is that I

know how to speak I can communicate

already so yeah yeah yeah okay so the

final endless yeah I love it

so let's let's just play around with

this a little bit so the feelings that

you're having and actually let me see

how I'm gonna do this so we're gonna

kind of break it down to its feeling I'm

can I going to break it down like this

can you see the whiteboard does that

show up for you thank you okay so the

feelings that you're having are that

you're you get nervous when you're

speaking up and you kind of get

frustrated because with the way that you

are wanting to say things in the way

that you say them sometimes don't match

yeah and also mad sometimes

oh you're mad you're frustrated yeah

you're mad um things like that okay so

those are the feelings that you're

having what what thoughts as you go into

you know you're going into those

situations what thoughts are you having

about or expectations there's kind of

and I think about expectations of like

okay I'm going in to speak speak English

and

I have this expectation that what what

is your expectation of yourself yeah I

always think that I'm gonna go very well

because I've been studying intonation

and pronunciation so I'm doesn't

pronounce the words very good I'm gonna

speak like I will speak similar to an

American name speaker that these are my

expectations okay so your expectation is

that you're going to sound you know some

very fluent and clear you know I'm

working on it and so there should be

never any mistakes right yes okay so

I've been studying English and I

shouldn't oh here I'll bring this up

here oh this is a little new for me so I

apologize you know I'm gonna bring up

something different I am I'm used to

using another format so let me let me

share this instead okay this will be

better let's get some better text here

okay so situation thoughts feelings

[Music]

actions results okay so what I'm gonna

do because we've kind of talked about

those feelings yeah sorry I'm gonna redo

this so frustrated frustrated nervous

mad things that you've talked about um

and the thoughts are that yeah I have

been learning English for a long time

yeah really I I shouldn't be making

mistakes okay

the thought is I shouldn't be making

mistakes okay so let's just talk let's

just talk about that one thought I

shouldn't be making mistakes and so that

is leading to some frustration some

nervousness your man yeah when you do

make some mistakes okay and then how is

that going to make you act okay so you

have these feelings

oh the situation is I speak with others

in English and you could probably say

and I make some mistakes you know I make

I'm making some mistakes with my English

your thought is I shouldn't make

mistakes this makes you frustrated and

sad and how are mad and how are you

going to then react to that what are

your actions based on that yeah usually

had just stopped speaking or I left the

other person speaks more than me because

I'm okay

I'm doing bad okay and it doesn't lose a

great opportunity to practice right okay

so the result is you lose opportunity

mm-hmm to

practice I love that yeah okay that's a

really good insight to kind of that

situation for yourself okay is so

obviously obviously you're not wanting

this situation right leave not wanting

this situation okay

so what we cut that we call an

unintentional model it's like that's

just what our brain does it's on

autopilot it's just happening and we not

we don't feel in control of that right

you don't feel like you have a good

control of that yeah okay so let's let's

feel a little bit more empowered here

because I think you there is more power

in this situation than you think

okay let's thought that's let's let's

hang out in this thought model because

this the thoughts is where our control

comes where our power comes okay so what

do you want to feel well let's let's

talk about what what do you want to feel

when you speak English

yeah I want to feel confidence mm-hmm

okay you want to feel confident all

right

in this situation okay so we know that

English and having perfect English and

everything like that is a process right

it's we're learning we're growing we're

working on it

what instead of this thought I shouldn't

be making mistakes

what could we change that to that will

help us feel more confident even when we

do make mistakes mm-hmm what thoughts

you use there what do you think maybe I

should think that I get to speak English

yeah and people get to understand me

okay

I get to speak English how awesome yeah

I know English speak English

I think that's phenomenal and I think

that's amazing that all of you guys I

want you guys to take a second and just

think about that all of you have learned

English how remarkable are you like I am

so impressed that you have learned

English English is such a difficult

language and as I teach English I'm like

oh my word there's so many exceptions

there's so many there's so many little

rules here they're like how incredible

that you have all learned English okay

so I love that that you said that I get

to speak English that's so cool that is

so awesome and I'm so proud of me yeah

so proud of me that I can do this okay

and obviously there's that situation of

like okay and and let's even say this

let's even let's even add this thought

is of course I'm gonna make mistakes

English is a complicated language and

it's okay to make mistakes okay for me

to make mistakes that's how I learn okay

so this isn't interesting you know let's

try on oh my goodness so even this right

here so what we're doing right here am I

making a lot of mistakes in my in my

typing here I could definitely make

myself feel bad about that and be

embarrassed that we're gonna just laugh

about it because that's what we're doing

and it's okay for me to make mistakes

that's a thought that I have it's okay

for me to make mistakes during these

situations because this is how I learn

okay it's

okay for me to make mistakes that's how

I learn this is how we grow this is how

we get better right mm-hmm

okay so how are those thoughts feeling

to you right now I get to speak English

how awesome I'm so proud of me and

actually you read these for me I want

you to okay you to do them mm-hmm yeah I

get to speak English

how some how awesome yeah I'm so proud

of me that I can do this it's okay for

me to make mistakes

that's how I learn yeah okay yeah if you

don't say particle yeah it's important

yeah and it might not feel you might

feel like you're kind of faking it at

first you know some of these some of

these feelings that we talked about it

might feel like I don't know if I can

believe that quite yet but the more that

we practice the thoughts yeah mm-hmm the

more you'll get comfortable with it okay

because it might be it might be and so

here's something that I've kind of

learned over over time is that beliefs

so our beliefs are really like our

beliefs are just strong like our strong

something we feel strongly about right

these are our beliefs all right and

really all that beliefs are our thoughts

we've practiced a lot okay so beliefs

are things that are thoughts that we've

practiced a lot okay it's things that

we've thoughts that we've had over and

over and over again to the point where

we really feel very strong and we

believe them you know we believe them

very strongly we feel like they're truth

okay

like I'm not good at English they're you

know some some people could have that

thought or that belief that I'm just not

good at English okay and we got a

challenge that thought and just say okay

that's just a thought that's not fact

that's not a fact that's just a thought

that you had in your head you know that

we can change that you can change if you

so choose you just have to think other

thoughts like I'm learning English you

know not I'm the best you know English

speaker in the world that might be too

far for you but it could be like I am

actually pretty good at English and I'm

learning everyday you know that's a

believable thought right yeah okay so I

want you to kind of think about that so

you know as you think these thoughts

you're speaking English you have these

thoughts you're feeling more confident

what what actions is that going to

produce so up here you stop speaking you

let others speak more what are the

actions that come from these thoughts

and this feeling yeah I'm appendix I I

heard it's no I didn't have the chance

to express myself to say what I want to

say yeah whatever yeah just be myself

yes I love that be myself and that's

really what we want right we want to

just show up we don't want to be able to

show up as ourselves cuz I know in your

first language just probably a lot

easier for you right that you know

without that language barrier it's so

much easier to just be ourselves and

just to you know feel more relaxed in

that situation and it doesn't take

becoming a hundred percent perfect in

English to be able to show up in that

way and actually it's the way we get to

the point of improved English because

you said right here I lose opportunities

to practice when I show up in this way

what's the result here then

I'd be the relevant area yeah I dunno

you do opportunity to practice I

practice

yeah sure this and improve my English

yes awesome okay I love that because

that is the mode of us getting better

right that's how you're going to be

getting better so here's you know the

situation didn't change I speaking I

speak with others in English okay here

are the two models that we can follow

this again this is kind of unintentional

this is kind of where our brain goes our

brain is wired to protect us from

negative emotions okay

it's like danger danger don't go there

it doesn't want you to do some of these

scary things because our brain is wired

to protect us but there's nothing that's

going to kill us back in the day there

might be tigers and lions you know and

things that would kill us and we need to

run from but now it's like your brain is

trying to say run away from the

situation you know and and be scared or

be intimidated or being frustrated with

the situation but really you have to

step back and say this isn't gonna kill

me the worst thing that happen is I can

feel an emotion and that's okay

I can handle that it's it's not that big

of a deal okay so this is what your

brain is just automatically wanting to

do but we can train our brain to do what

we want it to do so that we can get the

result that way we want that we can take

the actions that we want and we can feel

the way that we want to feel now not

when we get to be perfect but now and

actually the way to growth and

improvement is through this method is

through feeling confident now okay yeah

and we train our brains by her petition

right mmm exactly over and over again

and you see that oh oh all through life

right it's not just here it's not just

through accent training you probably see

that same truth everywhere right all

right through repetition that's awesome

okay David great job this is wonderful

I'm really excited about this yeah okay

thank you those thoughts okay go

practice those thoughts and let me know

how it goes okay

The Description of Pronunciation Pro Mindset Training