This is an Australian first thanks to WISE Employment.
I'm not in here tonight on stage before you
to relieve the stigma of mental illness
'cause it's a very serious problem.
But Mum also said "If you don't get off your ass
and do something soon I'm changing the locks".
We're very politically correct.
For those of you who don't know we use a language
now called 'people first language'
meaning that you are not your illness.
It is merely a small part of who you are.
So, you're not allowed to say, "Jane is disabled".
You say, "Jane has a disability".
You're also not allowed to say, "Bob is an asshole".
You say, "Bob has an asshole,
but Bob's asshole is only a small part of who Bob is".
I find the acute psychiatric wards
too traumatizing for me.
The people there are even crazier than I am...
and if I wanted that I'd just go to a Collingwood game!
Hi folks! No I'm not talking to you guys
I'm talking to my hallucinations.
I spent four years working on Blue Heelers,
as Len the Barman,
and, I used to get all the major dialogue,
all the Shakespearian dialogue.
I got the stuff like, 'Chips was it?'
My first psychiatrist, encouraged his patients
to date to each other and he'd give me their details!
Rohan. Maureen -- hears voices she's often psychotic
and she hates men.
I think you two would really hit it off.
I'm pretty stable at the moment. I still hear voices but they raise their hands before they speak.
I heard an AFL player say,
"That players got moves like a schizophrenic."
Like he was running with the ball,
he thought people were after him.
Duh, he's was right.
I've really been challenging myself with my diet lately.
When I buy my KFC, I eat it at McDonald's.
But seriously folks, my Dad's
mental illness is depression.
What's he going to do?
Bore you to death with his complaining?
My illness also necessitated several courses of ECT
or Electro Convulsive Therapy.
Which of course used to be called Shock Treatment.
Now they stopped using that term because apparently
the word 'Shock' was putting people off.
Like 'Electro' and 'Convulsive' is so appealing.
I have OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Things have to be even numbers, I get really angry...
If people say, 'I'll see ya in five minutes'
why can't they be four or six?
But, you've been a great audience
you've laughed 28 times.
Thank you and goodnight!