Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Example Essay WInter 20 Music and Me

Hello everybody, I'm going to walk you through an essay that received a 100

because it was so good. What I'm going to do is I'm going to point out thesis

statements, the topic sentences, etcetera. If your papers are modeled like this or

similarly, you will do well. First of all the heading his name, my name, the topic

or excuse me the subject of the class, and then the date- notice that it's day

month year. Then he has a musical feeling. This is the title of his essay- notice

that it's all double-spaced. There are no gaps. Notice that the major words of the

title are capitalized. A is capitalized because it's the beginning of the title

take it to take a pause here and read this, and then I'm gonna come down here. I

have categorized three of my favorite songs- Firework, Anyone, and Echame la Culpa,

and he gives the names of the people. These three songs are my favorite though

they are totally different. You should realize that he's going to talk about

these three songs and he's going to contrast them because he used the words

different. So as we go through the paper, we should only see Firework, this song

and Anyone and how he's going to compare them. So this would be his thesis

statement. This is a good thesis statement because they add the topic the

three songs and the controlling idea- what are we going to learn about those

three songs? How they're totally different?

So here the topic sentence- three these three songs were created for different

purposes. So he's going to talk about the different purposes of each of the songs.

Go ahead and read this. Pause it, and then down here if you go through it he stayed

on topic. He talked about the purpose of these songs- the differences, and let's

Go to the next body paragraph. These songs have different effects on me- clear

topic sentence. He's going to talk about how each of these songs offense affects

him differently. So he starts with Firework and he goes through look at

this closing. Here you don't always need a closing in an essay paragraph because

the reader knows you're going to continue, but look at this: The songs are

amazing yet each one makes me react differently.

What a beautiful closing. It made it all come together nicely.

These songs are for different occasions. Again another topic sentence the songs

and what are we gonna learn about them- how they're different- how they're used

for different occasions. So go through here. Read the topic sentences here. Look

at the closing- each occasion becomes special with these songs- nice closing. He

ties it up nicely and his conclusion. The other things I didn't really like was

in conclusion. He writes really well so I would just get rid of that and say it is

evident or overall. And then he goes through and he reviews or summarizes all

of these the main songs. He summarizes them for the reader because it's an

essay. So as his conclusion is done really well. Then let's look at the works

cited page- Lovato Demi the title he found it on YouTube. Everything

noticed that he indented. The only thing I think he should have put here was

accessed on date, which is okay, but you should add that on there. And then

Meredith and then Prance. Notice that it's LMP it goes in alphabetical order

by their last names, and then here song facts, song facts. He had a lot. S the only

thing I would have added was accessed on and put the date you accessed them on.

Alright, let's see here.

Perfect. Okay so to recap- he had a strong thesis statement- we knew exactly what

the paper was about- every body paragraph had a topic sentence, which he stayed on

topic and only talked about that topic sentence. Again you do not need a closing

sentence for each paragraph a body paragraph and an essay but he chose to

and he did them really well. And then his conclusion was a summary conclusion. This

was a 100 paper to me. So if you follow this, you will do

really well in my class. I have had students who say I grade too hard. I

don't think so as long as you have these main points, which are necessary. You

should do well- thank you.