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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Verdict Is In: These Are The Hardest Years Of Your Life!

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No one can predict for certain what will be the hardest years of your life because no

one knows what calamities might befall you.

Nonetheless, there are plenty of studies that tell us most people face certain obstacles

in life that all tend to happen at certain times.

We are sure youve heard of the mid-life crisis, or perhaps teenage angst, or those

trying times in early adulthood when people need to grow-up, get a job, and take responsibility

for themselves.

Then there are the vagaries of old age.

The specter of debilitating arthritis, incurable diseases, knowing the Grim Reaper is checking

Google Maps to find out how to get to your house.

Today well look at when most people face the most difficulties, in this episode of

the Infographics Show, What will be the hardest years of your life?

Well start with the easiest years.

There can be no doubt that the easiest years of life are those just after you are born.

We cant call these your hard years as there isnt really a sense of YOU.

You are developing a sense of self, or an ego.

We wont argue with psychologists, however, that suffering trauma as a young child might

have an effect on the development of that child.

Some kids are beaten badly by their parents even as infants, and studies show that beaten

children are more likely to develop mental health problems.

This might be anxiety, depression, inability to empathize with others or they might be

more likely to abuse drugs.

If youve seen our serial killer shows, youll know many of those crazed killers

grew up with violent parents.

However, as we said, as you havent quite developed a sense of you, these years are

still easy-sailing.

When the ego gets going, so do your problems.

Thats when the trauma kicks in.

That said, when you truly know yourself, accept who you are, and even accept your mortality,

life can become quite easy.

Thats why a lot of people say life gets easier once you get out of the middle-age

years.

As one person writes on his blog, “I am closing in on 71, though I am told I do not

look it.

I certainly dont feel it.

I am one that believes in the importance in continuous learning and trying lots of new

things.

You are never too late to start.

I started writing this blog at 64.”

Getting old gracefully really depends on what youve set up for yourself and also includes

a lot of luck.

If youre broke, without friends, have no hobbies or even ambitions, then old age can

be a drag.

You might find yourself a grumpy old person in a home next to a Grampa Simpson-like neighbor.

Listen to the wise words of American novelist, Henry Miller, who started writing late and

wrote essays on living a meaningful life when he was in old age.

Miller once said, “The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade

of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely,

divinely aware.”

If you kept fit throughout life, especially the middle years, stayed curious and kept

learning, saved a bit of cash, old age can be far easier than those years when you never

stopped needing things and every day was a fight for survival.

Hopefully, youll be one of those old folks that tells tales of a full life, and not through

a machine connected to your once-cancerous neck.

Now we get to the harder years.

The teenage years come next.

Teens may gripe a lot about life, but anyone who has been through those years knows they

are generally easier than whats coming, i.e. taking full responsibility for yourself.

The problem with these years is they start with you trying to deal with the pecking order

and finish with teens trying to deal with the transition to become adults.

It all depends on how you grow up.

Its no fun being poor as a teen and dealing with kids at school bullying you for it.

One day, if you hold in there, you will have the power to become who you want, but teens

generally are not able to escape whatever reality they know.

These are the years that bad parenting really hurts, when some kids run away from home,

when they are old enough and have enough awareness to realize things are not right at home.

For these teens life is a minefield, and we can see that in suicide rates.

Young kids generally dont take their own lives, but then in the teens the rate gets

much higher.

Kids have to deal with life, and deal with who they are.

Still, the teen years show easily the lowest suicide rate for all stages of a life after

pre-teen, in the USA at least.

Most kids, after all, dont deal with daily beatings and abuse at home.

Even kids withcaringparents can get stressed by parentsexpectations.

Spoiled kids on the other hand may think they have it easy, but things will get hard in

adulthood for someone who has always got what they wanted.

Psychology Today simply says, “The spoiled person is discontented

Such a person is unhappy, and it falls to parents to prevent their child from growing

up this way.”

They are tricky years, but in the end, someone generally has your back.

One teen girl said, “Social status matters so much today, and its all about how you

handle yourself on social media.”

So, yes, youll have to fight through pecking orders, traverse the minefield of other kids

and their taunts, but most kids, generally all kids, face this without insurmountable

problems.

Youll also see your body has changed, and those hormonal shifts can bring pimples to

your face and put you in bad moods.

Youll be nervous no doubt about a first kiss, about making love, about becoming a

man or a woman, but again, everyone has to go through this and generally these fears

are easily overcome.

Enjoy it while you can, because life is going to get harder.

The next stage is from the age of around 30-45.

Youre are not yet middle-aged, but certainly are over your growing pains.

These are the years when youll likely find a career path, when you might get married

and have children of your own, when you might get divorced, when, if you had a bad childhood,

you might come to terms with that.

Its also the age things might fall apart.

When you watch your friends succeed.

When you are inundated with photos on Facebook showing perfect happy marriages, your long-lost

buddies travelling the globe, them sporting the best new clothes and driving flashy cars.

Youre still wondering where everyone went, downing a Xanax and vodka in your one-bedroom

flat listening to 90s music while measuring your receding hairline.

This can be a trying time.

One thing for you now to know is you must move on.

Its time to leave the cocoon of youth and become a butterfly.

So, what if you didnt get married or dont have the best job in the world.

Dont get down looking at how others live, you must change yourself.

You are not too old to start something new.

If you dont have kids, see that as a reason to do all the things people with kids cannot

do.

Ok, so your school buddy is rich, but he works long hours at an office in the rat race.

Is that always a good thing?

Do nice cars make people happy?

Youll find the answer is no.

Surviving these years is all about accepting change, accepting the loss of youth, and adapting

to your future.

Sure, these years are hard because many people just cant cope with this.

On the other hand, people may be stuck in an unhappy marriage or a job they hatethey

wont always admit that.

Thats no reason to roll over and hit the Prozac as many people do during this stage

of life.

Its reason to dig in and make some changes.

Its the time you embrace the adage, “Carpe Diem”, “Seize the Day.”

The next stage is what we might call middle-age, from 45-60.

Maybe you didnt make those good decisions we just talked about; you just stayed in the

bad job, the terrible marriage; you kept hitting the booze and let yourself go physically.

These are the years when most people take their own lives.

It all depends on how you set this time up.

If you lived an unhealthy life and didnt take care of yourself these are also the years

you can expect to see some results related to that insalubrious living.

Bad knees, replaced hips, off the chart cholesterol, blood sugar in the red, missing teeth and

a lower back that cant support you without an unfashionable brace.

You are also at that stage where you will have to accept you are entering into the twilight

years.

That doesnt mean you cant run marathons, but it might mean slowing down.

Yep, weve all heard of the guys that buy Harley Davidson motorcycles during this stage

of life, not knowing how to adapt to these years.

Psychologists tell us its during this stage we faceGenerativityorStagnation”.

The former means giving, teaching others, even creating works of art or business manuals

that might teach others.

You have a lot to give, and now you are less selfish, work for the betterment of the majority.

Stagnation means just that, getting to this stage and not contributing anything to anyone.

Feeling worthless or irrelevant.

Lots of people turn to therapy at this stage in their lives.

Our advice is to try not to become so self-absorbed.

You cant stop this passing of time.

Hair transplants or fake breasts or new cars are temporary fixes, but the roots of your

soul will still be infused with discontent.

You have to give out, not give up; focus not only on YOU, but how you can make other peoples

lives better.

The hardest part of being alive?

Well, we are told that it is the twenties, or perhaps the period between the very late

teens and the early thirties.

This period doesnt have the highest suicide rate, but the 20s can be a very testing time.

Most people are thrown out of the nest and are told to literally get a life.

They have the burden of responsibility.

While many studies suggest the university years can be easy, lets remember some people

dont go to uni.

Those that do will likely graduate in their early twenties anyways.

Psychology Today writes, “What seems bewildering or insurmountable when we are twenty is usually

much less threatening when we are forty and may be a breeze when we are sixty.

I am talking about the heart, mind, and spiritnot the body.”

These are the years you have to fight, and youll get little respect from others.

You are too old to be mollycoddled by your parents, but embarrassingly you cant quite

stop needing their help.

Youre like a badly-made grown-up, on the outside things look normal but on the inside

you dont function properly yet.

Youve still got nagging parents; youve got debt, you have little self-control, and

because of that youre likely to do many stupid things on many occasions.

You are just not fully-formed, at least your brain isnt.

You have freedom, but you dont know how to handle it.

Studies have shown that when older people were asked what stage of life was the hardest

most said the 20s, a stage they really wouldnt want to go through again if by some miracle

it was possible.

We guess for other wild animals this is the stage when the young ones have to fend for

themselves.

They are just not very good at it yet.

Few people are masters of anything in their twenties, even if they deny it.

The twenties are also a time of big egos, which in turn can lead to hubris and depression

in the thirties, when they discover their brilliance wasnt a reality.

Youll need good support networks.

Youll need self-control lest your freedom backfire on you.

Reign-in your powers and harness your strengths.

You are Spiderman before he can use his superpowers correctly.

It helps to meditate a bit on who you are and what you want in life, and talk to others

about that.

Nows the time those mid-lifers should be doing what they are supposed to be doing and

giving back; helping you out, or even writing the books or blogs that lessen your confusion

and pain.

So, what have been the most trying years for you?

What do you think will be the hardest period?

Let us know in the comments.

Also, be sure to check out our other video called Why You Will Never Be Rich.

Thanks for watching, and as always, dont forget to like, share and subscribe.

See you next time.

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